Mom's Brownies

			Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
			Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.

			Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no."
			Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.

			Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.
			Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.

			Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
			Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained 
			while removing shortening from cat's tail.

			Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups
		 	sifted flour.
			Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors
			and windows for ventilation.
		
			Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the
			line the call was a mistake.
			Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call
			removed from your bill.

			Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all
			ingredients well.
			Let cat out of refrigerator.

			Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
			Bake 25 minutes.

			Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. 
			Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved
			cats will sunburn.
			Throw cat outside while there's still time
			and he's still able to run away. 


			FROSTING
			Mix the following in saucepan:

			1 cup sugar 
			1 oz unsweetened chocolate 
			1/4 cup margarine

			Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and
			throw it away-far away.

			Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman
			that you didn't know Junior had slipped out of the
			house and was heading for the street. 

			Put Junior in playpen.

			Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring 
			constantly for 2 minutes.
		
			Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy 
			having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail
			slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.
			
			Tie Billy to clothesline.

			Remove burned brownies from oven.